she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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