I accidentally burped into my bong.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
