did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he wants to bone in the snuggie
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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