im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
