we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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