I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
