i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
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