You can't motorboat a personality
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
