Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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