shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I currently don't understand fingers.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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