yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
