Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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