You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
