This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
