does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
