she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
