Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
