I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
