Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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