The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
