What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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