My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she pinky promised me she was 18
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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