I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
