Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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