I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What drink are we having for lunch?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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