He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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