I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize