just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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