I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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