summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
