I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
