home. puking in laundry basket.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
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