I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize