Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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