when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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