You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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