Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
