If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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