I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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