Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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