hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
