i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
