they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
