I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
