is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
