Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
