Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
