oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
