It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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