I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
