I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
