So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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