Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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