Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
