ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
