It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
