So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
