Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
