i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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