Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
