Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
