Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
