I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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