gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
