So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
