How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
