please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
