Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
