well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
