Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
