Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
