i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize