Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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