either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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