he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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