Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
