Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
