i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Randomize
