we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
