i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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