Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
