i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
