I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
