I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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