Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
