fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
